Saturday, February 6, 2010

Scott

I love my soon to be husband! He's kind, caring, generous, and treats me like a princess, but this entry isnt about how wonderful he is, but rather how annoying. Now I don't believe that any person you live with, whether that be a roomate, soulmate, or child is exempt from such feelings. I think its impossible to live with people and not feel the need to randomly punch them from time to time, and usually over the stupidest things.

I know Scott works hard, and has to deal with stupid, annoying, drunk ass, speeding while driving on the wrong side of the road, idiots all night or day long, so I try and give him as much slack as is humanly possible; But is it really going to send him into a horrible, cop depressed, tail spin to hang up his coat when he gets home?

It seems like every time I walk into my kitchen his jacket is rolled into a "neat" little ball and placed over the phone on the kitchen island. The island is already a sore spot for me as it seems to be the place all the crap in our house which we dont know what to do with (rented movies, gorcery list, tax receipts, purse, etc) ends up. So should I be that surprised that his coat winds up there? YES. The coat closet is right beside the kitchen island. The coat closet is LITERALLY in the kitchen. All he has to do is pivet 180 degrees, take one step and bam, a closet with coats and hangers...RIGHT THERE. Okay, so this is a lost battle, I'm never going to win. So how about the pants...

Whenever Scott winds down after a hard day of work, or grocery shopping, or child rearing, and we sit down to watch some TV or eat dinner, or enter our living room in general, Scott feels the need to undress...Sometimes its just his socks, but often times its his pants too. Plopped right in the middle of the floor among the toy debris. Often times he does so in front of me and it takes all my willpower and tic pulsing eye, not to throw the remote at him. As im counting to 10 in my head I happen to glance at my dining room window, and wonder who else in the neighbourhood gets to see my husband walk around without clothes on...as there is no blind on that window...A blind I have repeatedly asked to be purchased and put up since we MOVED IN! Eight months ago I nicely asked my husband if he planned on putting any sort of window covering up or if he just liked the idea of our neighbours seeing my bare breast while I fed Edie. "Don't worry babe, I'll get the blind up before she's born..." I'm quite sure by now that the neighbours have been privy to know the answer to "boxers or briefs"? and they also know that although I'm tattooed, I am and always have been, nipple piercing free!

After an evening of relaxation (for Scott) and practised breathing exercises (for me) its time for bed. I change Edie one last time, get her positioned so she can breast feed herself into a short lived coma, pull up the covers and listen to the loud snoring already emanating from my hubby... two seconds after lying his head on his pillow! I struggle to fall asleep through the lawn mower like sounds next to me, only to be awoken by his sleep talking. "what?" I often mumble in semi sleep.
"it's weird how they sometimes wake up at the same time" he responds (actual conversation as it unfolded)
"yeah it is weird, im not sure why that happens"
"probably because of you" he mutters
"why me?"
"because you ride the horse too"
"I ride the what now?" I asked, beginning to realize he is sleep talking again, "I think your sleeping Scott, just turn over and go back to sleep"
"I'm not sleeping, I meant to say its because of the children, not the horse"
"That still doesnt make any sense!!"
"YES IT DOES, It's because of the DNA!"
"Scott, just go to sleep"
"WHATEVER!" he says haughtily! Hes always very annoyed when I dont believe that he is in fact awake...when hes clearly not.

By this time Edie has been woken up, im frustrated, and wish that for once I can get through the night, just one, where someone in the family doesnt wake me up! The next morning Scott and I get up, and he makes a quick run to Tim Hortons for me because hes such a sweetheart! I thank him for the coffee and BELT and settle onto the couch to enjoy my meal only to glance up and see a rolled up jacket on the kitchen counter...

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